[re-post from 2021]
“Each time one prematurely teaches a child something he could have discovered himself, that child is kept from inventing it and consequently from understanding it completely.”
– Jean Piaget
Competitions help us grow because they challenge us in a variety of ways. We are faced with obstacles to overcome and goals to achieve. These challenges force us to grow by learning new skills. But learning new things to become better athletes is a difficult and frustrating process. It takes time, intentional practice, and consistent repetition to build up a new skill. This journey of development needs a coach to help the athlete reach into their potential and help make these new abilities become real. The coach is a guiding presence along the way, but the most important part of their role is to allow the player to actively participate in this process because it is the player’s journey.
How We Want to Coach vs How We Should Coach
A temptation coaches face is stepping in too soon. When an athlete is in the process of learning something new or practicing a skill, they will make mistakes and not perform it how it was taught. The urge inside of the coach is to help the player, so they stop the drill or pause practice and reteach the movements. Or they will perform the skill themselves and have the player copy their steps exactly. Though instruction is necessary, it is more necessary for an athlete to struggle in this process of learning. The more an athlete wrestles in the tension of knowing what to do but failing in how to do it, the deeper they will experience and integrate these movements and skills. They will not be quick fix adjustments, but deeply learned and earned abilities.
However, when a coach steps into the process too soon and does not allow the athlete to struggle, they are taking this experience away from them. The coach’s immediate instruction and feedback will create a quick spike in the athlete’s performance but will create a long-term decrease in their development and learning. This style might seem to help an athlete in the moment but could cause damage later in the process.
What Are Our Motives for Coaching?
This style is tempting because as a coach you hate to see a player struggle. When a player is struggling then your instinct is to run in and help them with the process. Sometimes it may be true that coaches rush in to help players because of their own insecurity. We are insecure in our own abilities and how people may think about us. So, as parents, coaches, and individuals, we worry how things reflect back on our reputation and status. We vicariously live through the performance of our athletes and rush in to “help” them in the process so they do not “fail”. We want them to get results because if they fall short, then it looks like we have not done our job. However, this superficial style of “helping” is based on appearances and results. These are the styles that are derived from our current culture rather than placing the focus on the player and what is important for their development and well-being.
Asking Hard Questions About What Matters
Just like our players, we get caught up on instant gratification and how things reflect back on us. This makes us want to see instant results rather than thinking about why we are doing this in the first place. If we reflect on the purpose and role of coaches, parents, teachers… etc., is it to help kids achieve moments of fame and collect validation (e.g., trophies, medals, likes favorites, views… etc.)? Or to develop competent humans that can self-regulate and stand on their own two feet? Which one really matters in the course of our lives as people? We look for quick highs to validate our worth and feel better about ourselves, but wouldn’t we rather something real that lasts, an ability that helps us become better throughout our lives?
Development Happens in the Tension
The athlete is not the only one that faces the tension of development, the coach does too. There is no cookie-cutter way or formula to follow. Nor should there be. Instruction is necessary, and so is struggling through not being able to do something. Each player is different and requires different styles and techniques because we are all unique and at different places in our development. But, the coach is responsible to aid the development of the person inside of the player rather than coach for immediate results and hinder their overall journey.
Final Thoughts
The purpose of a coach is to help the athlete in the journey of development but part of this is preparing them to face competition. The athlete needs to be able to self-regulate during competition because it not predictable. They will face challenges and obstacles that will require them to figure out solutions and make adjustments. But, if their preparation has consisted of a coach doing this process for them, they will be ill-prepared. The truly prepared athlete is one that has experienced things for themselves and faced the frustrations and joys of learning new solutions, so during competition they are familiar and competent with this process. Without this experience, players are relying on knowledge they received from the mouth of a coach rather than the experience of their own selves. This decreases their learning, confidence, and abilities.
