We all compare ourselves. It’s natural. And we especially compare ourselves to ourselves.
However, we tend to compare ourselves against our personal bests—our best performances or days. And while this might help us in the short term, it could hurt us in the long term.
If we continually compare ourselves to our previous best or future best, then where does that leave us the majority of the time? There will be a large gap between where we are right now and where we want to be. Seeing this distance day after day will discourage us. It will feel like we are constantly failing. Like we are missing the mark most of the time. We won’t look at the small improvements or moments of significance because we will be too distracted by the fact that we are still far away from where we want to be. So, we’ll try harder.
We’ll try to will it. We’ll get stressed, then we’ll use the stress to fuel us. We’ll criticize ourselves more. We’ll disconnect from others. And over time, our performance will suffer. We’ve tried to better ourselves, and we somehow made things worse. We are more stressed.
This stress cycle will exhaust us. We’ll feel mentally and physically fatigued. We’ll become discouraged and defeated because no matter our efforts or how stressed we make ourselves or how much pressure we put on ourselves or how much we yell at ourselves or how much the world depends on us, we feel like we can’t do enough. So we’ll want to quit because it seems like an endless battle that isn’t getting anywhere. It feels pointless. All stick and no carrot.
But what if we compare ourselves to our average?
The average is by definition in the middle. Some days and performances are above, some are below. And by comparing yourself to your average, you begin to make incremental progress. You begin to move your average and move yourself. You grow.
If you compare yourself to your average, then you decrease the chances of feeling that overwhelming gap between where you are and where you want to be. You accept and embrace where you are, and you compare yourself to that position. Your current position is not a reminder that you are failing, it is a starting point. You allow it to be a reference point so you can grow. It becomes an asset. Comparing yourself against your average helps you build confidence and momentum. You begin to taste some victories and this encourages you to keep going. Your motivation grows and you feel connected to a sense of purpose.
