Spending the summer coaching basketball at an all-boys outdoor summer camp was a blessing. It was an incredible experience to spend time with a group of guys in a gym. Some of them loved basketball more than anything. And some of them showed up to play in Crocs.
We coached them all.
Relying Too Much On Intensity
These circumstances helped me let go of taking myself so seriously. I struggle with this as a coach and it tends to be my default in all of my different roles (e.g., player, student, worker, husband, father, etc.).
Ever since I was a kid, I thought that being overly serious would help me achieve success.
I think I used to believe this because it was a way for me to cover up my own insecurities. I thought that if I trained enough then my worries and doubts would disappear. Or if I was hard enough on myself then my anxieties would go away. I thought that my seriousness would make people respect me. Or my perfectionism would make me perfect.
I was trying to control the outcomes and rid the process of any possibilities of failure. But in the end, there is no eradicating uncertainty and mistakes from the process.
I still believe that seriousness is necessary. However, I don’t believe that it’s everything.
Leaning More Into Humanity
Instead of trying to hide my insecurities or erase them through perfectionism, I am leaning into it. The process of awkward moments, embarrassment, and messing up. All the “good stuff” that I naturally want to shy away from but am starting to like a little bit more.
Coaching this summer helped remind me of that. There were moments when I took it too seriously. But, luckily, there were many moments that pulled me out of myself and into something bigger. These were the moments when I saw campers begin to enjoy basketball more than when they showed up. These were moments when they encouraged each other and showed support. These were moments when they listened to feedback and made helpful adjustments. These were moments when they made mistakes and tried again and again.
These moments acted as reminders of why this matters.
I don’t want to take myself too seriously all of the time. I want to create an environment where players aren’t scared to make mistakes. Where they can be free enough to get better by pushing the boundaries of what they can do. I want to help them enjoy it and get better so they can enjoy it all the more.
Ultimately, I want my intensity to be balanced out by my humanity.
