The associations between our circumstances and our experiences establish underlying beliefs. These beliefs inform our expectations for the future. And these expectations impact our performances.
How Associations Form Beliefs
For example, if an athlete performs poorly against a rival team, there is an association between their circumstances (e.g., playing the rival team) and their experiences (e.g., a bad outcome). In more detail, let’s say this game was extra important because scouts were coming to the game to watch them play. Let’s also say that since this game was meaningful to the player, they experienced nervousness before the game. They felt a little jittery and tight. Their stomach was slightly upset before the game. The player noticed that teammates were taking warm-ups more seriously, the crowd was bigger, and they announced the starting line-ups on the loudspeaker. It all felt bigger. And the player did not perform well. It was their worst performance of the season.
Now, in this example, there is an association between the circumstances (e.g., playing this rival team, having a scout present, nervousness) and the experiences (e.g., playing poorly, stressing themselves out). This association can establish important underlying beliefs for this player. These beliefs might be: When we play this rival team, I play bad. When I feel nervous, bad things happen. When there is more pressure and it’s a serious game, I can’t play my best.
These underlying beliefs are unhealthy. Why? They associate circumstances and experiences and present them as ” facts” in their minds. These beliefs inform the player’s expectations for the future. They will feel more nervous and discouraged when they play the same rival team later in the season or when another scout comes to watch them play because they think their past performance will be replicated. They are defeated before it starts.
If you look at the example, you can see how the circumstances are not the issue. The real issue is not playing the rival team. The real issue is not the scouts coming to watch them play. The real issue is not getting nervous before a game. The real issue is the player’s belief about what those circumstances mean. They believe these circumstances mean that they will play bad.
So, what can they do?
Changing Unhealthy Beliefs
The player should decouple those beliefs from the circumstances. This means that they should challenge those “facts” in their head. Is it a fact that when they play this rival team, they will play poorly? Is it a fact that when they feel nervous, bad things happen? Is it a fact that when there is more pressure on a game, they can’t play their best? These are not facts. These are associations from past experiences, but it does not mean this will 100% happen in the future.
It does not mean that these circumstances caused these outcomes. It does not mean that performance breakdowns are bound to happen again. It just means that there were circumstances in which the player did not play their best. It happened. But if the player faces these circumstances again, it does not mean that they will experience the same outcomes.
Now, after questioning those “facts” in their head and decoupling their beliefs from the circumstances, they can change those beliefs. The new beliefs might sound like: I did not play well in the past against this team and I’ll be prepared to try again when another opportunity arises. I experience nervousness when I’m doing something that matters to me, and this is normal. It’s difficult to deal with added pressure in games, and that’s something I can improve on.
Power of New Beliefs
The old beliefs are changed. The new beliefs acknowledge that things aren’t always perfect, but that’s part of the process. These new beliefs leave room to grow and normalize the setbacks along the way. This helps the player decrease their stress and worry while motivating them to commit more of themselves in challenging circumstances. Now, there is a different story in their heads—a story that is more hopeful and opens new doors of possibilities.
Change the beliefs, change the story. Change the story, change the future.
