Confidence is something we want. However, we have misconceptions about confidence. We think confidence is a wave of positive feelings that bring complete assurance. Or that it comes from success. Or implies undoubtable certainty. These misconceptions put us in a trap. The confidence trap.
We think we need to feel sure of ourselves to take a step forward. Or that we need to be certain of something before we go ahead and move toward it. This implies that we need to feel confident before we make a choice and commit to the things we desire. Thus, the external world relies on my internal world. However, we also tell ourselves that we need something good to happen before we can feel confident. Success must amount or we must receive external validation before we can feel sure of ourselves. Thus, my internal world relies on the external world. We are trapped. Trapped between waiting to feel good enough on the inside to move on the outside, and waiting for something good to happen on the outside so we can feel good enough on the inside. We are frozen with anxious energy, waiting for something more to happen.
Perhaps confidence is different. Not as much of a feeling as a choice, an action. Yes, feelings may accompany a state of confidence, but confidence implies movement. Coming from the Latin word, confidere, it means, to trust. Thus, when we live or play with confidence, we are moving with trust. Amidst our negative thoughts and feelings. Amidst the uncertainties of our circumstances. We trust that there is more. We trust that there is more to us than we think. Being confident is about trusting in this something more. This gives us the push to act courageously and commit to small choices that make big differences.
When we are confident, we trust and act in a state of courageous play rather than wait in a state of passive avoidance. We do not submit to the limits we place on ourselves. We plunge into this something more because we are confident that it exists. And we wonder where we will go when we courageously commit to being confident.
